A 49ers fan's
honest letter to @RSherman_25
Richard,
It is now a few
days after last Sunday's NFC Championship game. In the
internet age, societies are more and more preoccupied with rapid reactions to complex
events, often inciting severe feelings on just a few sides of a multi-faceted
issues. I felt the need for a more nuanced reply that took time.
I first want to say:
"I'm sorry." You've written and spoken that after the game, you have
received insults (including racist ones), threats, and the like from a legion
of internet users and others with whom you're not acquainted. I apologize for
this; I feel qualified to do so as I am one of the faceless mob that hide
behind a Twitter handle and write without heed to consequence. No one should be
the target of belligerence and belittlement. Criticism, yes, but only when used
to build, and only when delivered from a trustworthy source.
I wanted to write to
you about my son. He's a handsome 1 year old boy that doesn't know what he's
seeing, only that he loves watching the moving pictures on the television with
his dad for a few moments before he's distracted by a toy that catches his eye.
I hope that as he grows and understands more, he will find mentorship and
guidance from those close to him: family, friends, neighbors, teachers, church
members, and the like. I wish he would be less affected by professional
athletes not because I believe such to be bad influences, but because I am wary
of his looking to people that he does not know well and may not take their
association with him seriously. I think real role models are invested in the
lives of the people they touch.
He is, however, his
father's son. We will likely watch many more football games together. In doing
so, he will likely see you make more spectacular plays. He may even want to be
like you, be like the way you play, be like the way you hold yourself, and yes,
be like the way you denigrate an opponent after a game. In doing so, he would
only follow his father who had athletic idols of his own.
Perhaps it's my
fault - it is I, as a parent, that invite athletes into my home for these
games. It may be naïve of me to think much good can come from that box on the
table. But I wonder if I might still appeal to you. I don't know you, but I
have heard from others that have interacted with you. They describe you as
thoughtful, supportive, kind, confident, and with many other traits that I
would love my son to emulate. You yourself have written how you give support
community and family, which I applaud.
I have been told of
how strong a communicator you are. Judging from interviews you gave after the
game, I agree. You said Michael Crabtree said something hurtful to you - while
I cannot apologize for that (I am not Michael Crabtree), I can empathize. Your
response after the game was deliberate, and delivered it in a moment of his
vulnerability. I don't know what he said to you (I do know he pushed you away
after the pick), but might I suggest that rather than disparaging him in a
nationwide broadcast, you let that interception speak? I don’t think much doubt
remains on who the best player in that matchup was.
You've written that
your words were a product of the passion with which you play. I love that you
respect the game, your teammates, and your opponent enough to play with that
much passion. I hope my son will devote himself with such passion to his dreams.
But passion can be a very fine line, and sometimes, a line we cross when we
demean others. Sometimes our opponents (in life, even) generate strong emotions
and are truly worthy of some contempt. Might I suggest that in those moments,
we be extra measured in our tone and stay away from that line?
I don’t mean to tell
you to change your approach to the game (we can't all play like Bill
Belichick), just that when you are handed a microphone and invited into
millions of homes, to build with your words. It is unfortunate that we view
athletes so narrowly, ignoring many aspects of their humanity including their
interactions off the field and their efforts in their communities. You have a
chance to right that. As one of the game's stars, you are handed podium that
hundreds of other NFL players never attain. You have such great influence, and
I believe you mean well. I hope you will
seize the opportunity to build others and I look forward to hearing more from
you in the future.
Best,
Xing @xingtheli
#YouMakeTheCalls #YMTC #RichardSherman
No comments:
Post a Comment